Open Letter to David Letterman

Dear Dave: 
I'm writing to recommend the dog-human duo destined to become your best Stupid Pet Trick of All Time.  The justly famous Edgar Allen Poo and owner Joell Silverman recently auditioned for Stupid Pet Trick honors and although auditions are continuing across the country, believe me when I tell you you need look no further.

Joell was probably too modest to tell your producers, so I'll do it for her:  Edgar's already been featured in the pages of the Wall Street Journal and starred in a political commercial (in Kentucky's 2004 race for governor). His file of press clippings is too long to enumerate fully but believe me, he's got a great Q rating.  His performances at schools and nursing homes in the the D.C. area are legendary.  Need I go on?

And now for the trick.  Edgar's wise-cracking 78-year-old human begins by noting that although the tricks are officially stupid, Edgar is anything but.  In fact, he keeps up with politics and they chat about it frequently.  "Here, I'll show you.  Edgar, would you rather vote for George Bush or DIE?"  At which Edgar rolls over and plays dead with dramatic flourish.  Dave, we all know you agree with Edgar's assessment of Bush, so now you can use this adorable poodle to make your point and stay safely under the radar of the media-watchers.

And Dave, if you select Joell and Edgar for your show I can promise I'll help publicize their appearance here on my very own gardening blog.  (You're not a reader?  Well, you're a city guy, so that's okay.)  The connection to gardening is that when she's not competing with Edgar at dog obedience trials or, more recently, dog dancing competitions, Joell can be found tending her Washington, D.C. garden.  Yes, she's the latest subject of my practically famous series, Really Cool People Who Garden.  She's even been known to take time out of her busy schedule to read my blog and comment, though under the pseudonym "Millie."

In closing, I think I can go so far as to promise a ratings boost if you choose Joell and Edgar.  And those annoying corporate suits you're always whining complaining about?  They'll be begging for more. 
Sincerely,
Susan Harris
P.S.  And if you book this wonderful act, I promise I'll start watching your show.

Comments

[Ronni Bennett]

Very cool. If Dave doesn't book her, let's all get together and storm the studio.

[Marv]

I dunno Susan...Outside of watching Joell could you REALLY stand watching Letterman?

[Water Fountains Junkie]

I see you used a photo of Dave from about 20 years ago when he had more hair. So far, this is a good move on your part. It is also clever of you to emphasize Edgar’s agreement with Dave regarding his views about our president. Add another point to your total. The fact that Joell is a gardener from Washington D.C. also adds some political clout to your invitation. And finally, the fact that you will use your highly popular and influential blog to promote Edgar and Joell’s appearance on the Letterman Show—well, this should send Dave over the edge. There’s no way that he can ignore or refuse your offer. Just keep up with all of your readers and let us know when Edgar and Joell will be making history on the Letterman Show. :-)